Covid Accelerated Digital Transformation is a real thing. To many parents, it has come with mixed bag of goodies (as my son calls the candy jar at his grandma’s house) and not so goodies. For me, it has provided me an opportunity to work alongside my son Mich from time to time giving us a rare but most rewarding mid week opportunity to bond even more.

As an individual there are a few responsibilities that I take more seriously as that of being a father, in fact the only one that tops that is being a husband. In my daily interactions with my son, I am always keen to pass some nuggets of wisdom to him through my actions but more so, I am also keen to learn from him. In my role, I lead a team of Technology Sales experts who quite frankly know their stuff (replace with the other S word).

However, from time to time I see that myself as a team member and even them or any team for that matter even that full of people who know their stuff, and more so in the knowledge industry take a queue from Mich.

A father said to his son: Be careful where you walk. The son responded: You be careful for remember that I follow your footsteps!

As the leader, my role is not only to tell the team what we need to achieve and get out of their way so they can do it, but also to coach and mentor them as I also learn from them and they from me so they can take on tougher challenges and “do it themselves” and also look at them in admiration, cheer and reward them through recognition of their work and progress.

Daddy I want to do it myself

My son has learned so many things over the four years or so that he has been on planet earth, one of those that he is proud of is being able to ride his bike. I remember when we started, I used to hold the bike for him to get on and also as he steadily rode it down the foot path with me holding it from the back and ensuring he is steady. I remember so many times after we had done some training and the training wheels were off, Mich would always shout “Daddy, I want to do myself” signaling me that he felt confident and I should get out of his way having done my part in giving him the vision.

“Tell people what you need, NOT what to do. Then get out of their way”

Same applies to us as Leaders, more often than not we are tempted to micromanage and hang over our teams or people and a good number of them are always crying to us “I want to do it myself”. So as leaders, your role is not to do the job or work for your team at the slightest sign of trouble, it is to give them the tools – training, enablement, technology, et.al that they need and then get out of their way so they can do it!

Daddy Look at me

After giving the team tools, it is important to look at them excel.

Every time Mich mastered or masters a trick (even with his scooter) his next yell is always “Daddy, Look at me”, this is not the look at me of correct me or find fault, it is look at me with admiration and pride, it is showing me that as a father, I have succeeded in enabling him master the next trick and that in addition to him being proud of it, he is looking for affirmation and approval and recognition of his progress.

 “Focus on progress, not perfection.”

As leaders, when our teams excel, it is our duty to recognize and look at them. So the next time your team member does something awesome, do not hesitate to give that praise. Take a moment and realize that AWESOME ends with ME and remember they need you to “look at me” .

Bringing it All together

Just like a Father, who’s role is to be a coach and the number one cheerleader to his children, as a leader, you have the duty to those in your charge to coach them and get out of their way but most importantly to cheerlead them and catch them doing something good. Remember this, if you look for the good in people, you will always find it.

“When we tell people to do their jobs, we get workers. When we trust people to get the job done, we get leaders.”

As always, I am just a man. We keep learning.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Ouko Joseph is a Husband, Father, Son and a Leader in the making. A passionate student of leadership. Read more here

I have experienced first hand how challenging leading through a change period can be. Particularly during mergers of two or more organizations that not only had different cultures but also engaged in seemingly similar industry in this case Technology, but operated in such different ways due to not only the difference in complexity of their businesses, but also the business model. 

From the difference in how success is defined in one organization, to how performance metrics are set, to how solutions are designed, how much autonomy individuals have, what is escalated , how ideas are debated , to how leadership takes and considers opinions to how much emphasis is put on learning. To trivial matters like if people serve their own tea or tea is served to them, to who has their own office and who sits in general population (gen Pop as it is called in prison lingo), all these aspects play a major role in the overall emergent culture and leadership in the new outfit. 

Over the last couple of months, I have tried and continue to think deeply on what role exactly Culture and most importantly Leadership Culture and Communication Culture plays in ensuring success during transition periods within organizations. Not only in mergers, and acquisitions but also in aspects like transforming the focus or business models within organizations. 

I am no expert in these matters, but I have purposed to learn as much as I can on this subject. In addition to starting my Doctor of Business Administration (DBA) studies in January 2022, focusing on leadership and change management particularly during this era of Digital Transformation (whatever that means to various industries and organizations is debatable), in a VUCA world is a field that I would like to sharpen my skills in both through formal learning in academia and also practical on job experience. 

The question today is what are some of the ways we can set ourselves up for success during such times? How can we shape the emergent Culture ? Particularly leadership, Communication and learning Elements of culture?

Humility and Empathy 

Humility and Empathy are two key leadership traits that I find quite critical before, during and after organizations go through a change phase. As pointed out in this article , for leaders to be able to Listen and learn, having the humility to accept our own shortcomings and blind spots as leaders play a key role. 

I have pointed out before here that in order to lead, we must be able to listen, and Learn. On the subject of listening, particularly for senior executives and leaders, this article from HBR titled “Are you really Listening” points out some truly important tenets. By giving the solution for business leaders as building a “listening ecosystem” and being able to escape the noise bubble. 

Failure to do so, leaders risk having information with key facts omitted and warning signs dampened down. The result: living in the proverbial ivory tower and what I called in my article here being the naked king.

From communication to connection 

Humble and empathic communication not only results in the message being effective but also results in communication achieving connection. 

In his book Titled: Everyone communicates, few Connect, JC Maxwell who is in my view one of the greatest teachers on the subject of leadership highlights these key areas of communication that results in connection. 

“The most effective leaders know how to connect with people. It’s not about power or popularity, but about making the people around you feel heard, comfortable, and understood.”

Common Ground: Finding common ground is a time tested means to form relationships, find it as a leader, there is always something we agree on even with our greatest of rivals, this is especially important for leaders to find. 

Keep it Simple: do not bog down people by jargon and need to make things complex. Keep the communication simple and concise. The aim is to communicate not complicate. 

Appeal to and Capture people’s interests: keep your personal interest second, get your ego out of the way and speak to the authentic purpose and interests of those you are leading. Remember, people are at the center of leadership. 

Stay Authentic in all your relationships: As a leader, being authentic is a point of strength. Don’t treat everyone the same and equally, people are different with different needs and individuality, stay authentic to the relationships you have with each of them. 

Bringing it Together 

In the end, what matters is making a positive difference in the lives of those we lead. People may forget what we say or do, but they will most likely never forget how we made them feel. As leaders heavy is the crown. Purpose to be better than we were yesterday, and always remember this, progress over perfection. 

So go forth and be vulnerable, communicate and lead with humility and empathy, let us connect with those in our charge and bring out the best in them.

#Godspeed #IamJustAman

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Ouko Joseph is a Father and a Leader in the making. A passionate student of leadership. Read more here

The Press Announcement

My wife and I love a good fight. Research shows that how often parents argue has no bearing on their Children’s academic, social or emotional development. What matters is how respectfully parents argue, not the frequency. 

When I took up my current role about two months ago, one of my most important and urgent tasks was to form a team that I would work with. Naturally, as I was taking up a role previously held jointly by two people, and involving multiple teams, seeking their (previous officeholders) advice and review of the current team members were inevitable. 

Eventually, I had to make the tough decisions of who to include and whom not to include in my team; some didn’t take it well and took their exclusion as a personal vendetta and attack on them. The truth is, I too would be hurt if, as a salesperson, the Accounts I have worked on over the years were to be taken away and redistributed. With one particular individual, let us call them Hawi, the conflict escalated to the extent of Hawi attacking my character as a person. Making allegations that were not true made me question how I handled the situation and Think Again. We had and still do have a relationship conflict. 

There are two types of conflict; Task Conflict and Relationship Conflict. As the names suggest, task conflicts revolve around ideas and opinions, whereas relationship conflicts mostly Centre on characters, values, emotions, etc. 

A meta-analysis (which is the study of studies) of various studies show that relationship conflicts, unlike task conflicts, are generally bad for performance. However, objective task conflicts can be beneficial in the long run. The absence of conflict is not harmony, it is apathy, and for leaders, those who do not listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say (remember the story of the naked King?). 

The Ring: Tense but Secure 

Psychologist Robert Albert says this “ The creative person-to-be comes from a family that is anything but harmonious, one with a wobble.” These families or organizations aren’t physically or verbally abusive, but they don’t shy away from conflict either. Instead, people are encouraged to stand up for themselves and learn to dish it out with respect and consideration and take it with grace and humility. They are “Tense but Secure”

Round 1: Confident Humility 

To be able to Think, we must risk being offensive. However, to learn, individuals must attain what Adam Grant calls Confident humility.

The ability to have faith in our capabilities but at the same time appreciate that we don’t always have the right solution and may not even be addressing the right problem. This dichotomy gives us the ability to hold enough doubt on our status quo and confidence to pursue new knowledge and insights. 

For Leaders, it is being able to have faith in our strengths – Confidence and being keenly aware of our weaknesses or limitations – Humility. 

Last Round – Final Word

As I try to find a way to resolve my current Relationship conflict, I am travelling on this path fully aware and constantly learning about my limitations. I would like both my team and I to have the courage to put up a Great fight for our ideas and the resilience to lose a fight/disagreement without losing our tenacity and trust in each other. 

I don’t want a team where my most passionate people become quiet because they don’t feel safe to speak; I don’t want to be the naked King. I want to grow a team and an organization at large where individuals are not only happy to discover that they were wrong (like I have discovered looking back at how I handled the relationship conflict) but also learn from the discovery.

Key Ref: T_{hink Again, Adam Grant, On Conflict, HBR}

One of the main responsibilities of Team Leadership is Conflict Resolution. This is both Intra-team conflict – Conflict between Team members and Inter-team conflict – conflict between your team and other teams within or outside the organization.

In this Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous (VUCA) world, conflict is almost inevitable. However, as pointed in my article – Conflict in High Performing Teams conflict is not always a bad thing, in fact, conflict can be used to stimulate intellectual growth and trust among team members.

“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

As a Team leader, what are some of the tips or nuggets can you use to manage and resolve conflict within the team? Here are Two:

• Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood

In his book 7 Habits of Highly effective People, Author Stephen Covey points out that most people do not listen with the intent to understand; but rather they listen with the intent to reply. Yet in order to effectively resolve conflict, the ability to understand or at least to intentionally seek to understand the point of view that is in contradiction with our own is one of the most important skill to develop. There is a reason we have two ears, and one mouth. Many times I have caught myself preparing my response when the other party is trying to put their point across while at the same time assessing their point of view from my own biases.

“The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.” – Leonardo da Vinci.

If you want to have or be great at handling conflict with your teammates, first, purpose to intentionally understand their point of view, ask for clarification on what is not clear, probe and ensure you truly understand their side of the story and secondly, be conscious and fully aware of your own biases then intentionally put them in check. If there is something that leaders must constantly do, is to constantly question our own assumptions and biases.

• Don’t Just Communicate, Connect

The ability to effectively Communicate is one of the most important skill a leader must poses. To get people to work together or as a team – which I define as a group of people who TRUST each other, three things are important, Shared Vision, Shared Goals and Shared Purpose, all these must be communicated to the team. In his book “Everyone Communicates, few connect” Author John C Maxwell points out that Connecting not only increases your influence in every situation, but it also ensures that you as a leader are able to build consensus.

“If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.” —Abraham Lincoln

When conflicting ideas come up, what you say and how you say it are both just as important as what your body language communicates during that time. As leaders, your teams like children in a family, they not only listen but they also watch how you treat those you do not agree with as much as mimic how you address conflict or disagreement. During these times,, ensure you are using non-threatening language that serves to reinforce your understanding of the other person’s view as well as communicating clearly your points of agreement if any and your point(s) of departure from that view.

• Keep a Positive Attitude, Think WIN-WIN

Few things determine the outcome of a conflict like the attitude of those involved in the conflict. William James captures this very well:

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”

So simply put, have a POSITIVE attitude, always believe that after the conflict, both or all parties involved will come out better. This is such a simple yet difficult aspect to grasp during a conflict. It is so hard to program our minds that something with a negative connotation like conflict can actually result in a positive outcome and that we need to keep a positive attitude and mindset throughout or during the engagement.

About three years ago, I decided to remove the recurring Team meeting from my calendar and that of my direct reports. Instead, we decided as a team that I will send an invite every week on a need basis. This has turned out to be one of the best stress relieving medicine we as a team have taken over the last 24 months.

Why is it that managers find the need to have reviews? Why is it that particularly in this part of the world we like to have a review to review the last review meeting? How come most employees HATE reviews especially with their direct bosses?

To put this into perspective, I am not saying meetings are bad, I am for meetings and by extension reviews, it is one of the many ways Teams, managers and leaders get feedback, a manager who hates meetings is like a surgeon who hates operating on people, really all that managers do is meetings aka reviews -okay, mostly 🙂 , and the solution is not the elimination of reviews, but rather making them meaningful, engaging and relevant. Here are some ways we have used to make our team reviews less painful , stressful and boring.

Sales Force…..Microsoft Excel et.al In my line of business, Sales Force and the old age excel have been of great help. If something can be obtained from a Sales Force report or an excel sheet, why do we need to review it in an actual physical meeting? As a team, we have found that sharing the report and strictly highlighting areas that need clarifications saves everyone’s time and makes life fun. So next time before you schedule that meeting, try logging into your company’s reporting tool and see if you can get that information from the “system” as opposed to wasting valuable time getting people into a room.

“Mr. Watson–come here–I want to see you.” these were the first words of Graham Bell in 1876 when he invented the Telephone. It is over one hundred years since the phone was invented yet a big number of managers are yet to use this revolutionary invention to hold a conference call with their team and quickly agree or plan on what needs to be done. Pick up the phone, conference your team and get it going. Do not drag everyone into that room that doesn’t have Air conditioning in the middle of the day.

long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. aka short and sweet

Agenda….. Agenda….. Agenda….. Stick to the agenda. Keep the meeting short and sweet. In Africa, greetings , pleasantries and unnecessary stories find their way into meetings almost 90% of the time. As a team, we decided that only the first 5 – 7 minutes will be used for this purpose – this also caters for the African time (Time between the scheduled start time and ACTUAL start time), which tends to be longer but over time we have shortened this to ensure that the agenda is followed and stuck to. Every meeting MUST start on time, remain focused and have clear action points – including ownership and timelines.

In summary, First, embrace the technology that you have invested in, secondly keep the meetings short n Sweet and if possible schedule it Every single time, do not have a recurring meeting for over 1 month!!!.

What other things do you do to make your meetings productive?